Recap

Oh, wow. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It's been about six months since my last post.

What's been going on with me since then? I've been dealing with some mental and physical health issues. I had hernia surgery a few weeks ago. I'm healing pretty well but I'm still sore. I can't wait until I can resume normal activities. I'm thinking about taking aikido since I really miss martial arts.

I had a new roommate move in at the beginning of the month. It was pretty stressful finding someone else; this was the first time I was interviewing potential roommies. Normally, I'm the one looking to move in to someone else's pad. I still have to find another one for the beginning of September, but I'm pretty confident I can make it happen.

My best friend is nearing the end of his battle with brain cancer. I don't know what I'm going to do without him in my life. He's been a calming presence and has been my anchor since I've met him. I really want to get my life together before he passes away. I'm praying I can at least get the gears in motion and create some semblance of stability.

I'll try to post more frequently than in the past. Until then...

Aliyah

I'm toying with the idea of making Aliyah, which is the term people use for emigrating to Israel. Aliyah means "to go up," which is what your soul does when you move to Israel, because Israel is a holy place.

This isn't the first time I've considered this move. The first time was when my parents decided to move in 2004. Ultimately, we decided that it wasn't the right time for me to go with them at that point in my life. I've started and stopped the process a few times since then. I opened up another application about 1-1/2 years ago, only to stop it a few weeks later.

The biggest hurdle is lack of money. I don't want to go with almost no money. I do have my Social Security payments, which equal about about 3450 NIS (New Israeli Sheqel). The Israeli government gives out a stipend to new immigrants based on family size. I would receive about 2600 NIS per month for the first six months. Overall, I would earn about 6000 NIS for the first six month. I don't know what I would do after those months. I would be under pressure to find work fairly quickly but that might be difficult given my spotty work history.

I really want to go to spend more time with my family. I haven't seen my dad in about five years. His health is failing a bit and I think my mom will need help with him. I don't always get along with my sisters but I haven't met a few of my nieces and nephews. It would be nice to establish a relationship with them.

I don't know if starting a GoFundMe campaign would help. We'll see what happens...

Unfriendly

I hate it when people claim to be my friend, but they say hurtful things when they think I'm vulnerable. Don't they know my self-esteem is already at a low point? And if they indeed know, do they care? Are they transferring their own insecurities onto me? Maybe I should limit my contact with them.