Money

Not having money makes me stressed out and sets my mood into crash mode. Part of me wants to find consistent part-time work, and the other part of me is scared that it won't work out and that I'll fail again. I don't know if I want another setback.

Dignity

I wish medical professionals would treat me with more respect when I seek medical care. Yes, I understand I have mental health issues which impact my physical health. I also know I present at the emergency room multiple times, but some of those times do lead to inpatient admissions. Please, don't talk down to me or treat me like a hypochondriac. I deserve to be treated with dignity like all people should be who seek medical care. Why is it so hard for those in the field to comprehend this concept?

Stomach

I've been dealing with abdominal issues for the last week. I was in the hospital from last Tuesday night until Friday morning with a partially obstructed bowel. I don't recommend it; it's painful and made me vomit a few times. I'm in the hospital again because I thought I had another blocked bowel, but thankfully it's only gastroenteritis. It's been a fun start to the new year...

Resolution

I decided I was going to be more active this New Year's Eve since last year's was a dud. Rick and I went to P-Town for karaoke, which as you know, is my favorite activity besides staring at men in uniform. I was eyefucking this cute guy all night, but he was with a group of friends, and I didn't want to interrupt their night, so I let it go.

A cute guy came into the bar about 20 minutes before midnight. I recognized him from a party my friends had for July 4th. He was drunk, but at least responsible enough to take Lyft and not drive, so I gave him points for that. We sucked face at midnight, but he lost all points when he dropped his drink on me 20 minutes later.

Was it a completely 100% awesome night? No. But it was a drastic improvement than last year. I guess that's my resolution. Not every day is going to be awesome, or even remotely awesome. I know that I've experienced some completely shitty days and I just wanted to give up  go to WPIC or thought about hurting/killing myself. Somehow I have to keep pushing through, and keep treading water until I have enough strength to swim against the current, and then ultimately ride a really awesome wave.